[four-year-old decision]

I apologize for the delay before this post. A couple speech and debate tournaments, some illness and other events have kept me rather busy. I'll try to not let that happen again.


When we were very little, all of the Harris boys at one point or another were asked by our mother "who do you want to marry?"

After just a short moment of consideration, the answer always came back, "You!" She would laugh, and remind us that she was married to our father, to which we would reply confidently that we were sure we could make things work.

Now, in present day, looking back, the truth in our answer almost makes me smile. At age 4, I wanted to marry my mother. At age 17, I want to marry a girl just like her.

My mother was a loving wife. Supporting my father when he was discouraged, steadying him when he was confident and serving him regardless of the outcome. She was gentle, and she was gracious.

She was a caring mother. Teaching and training the children with unwavering patience and devotion. She expected the very best from you, and did whatever it took to make sure you fulfilled those expectations. She was your toughest coach, but also your biggest cheer-leader. She had a way of gently pushing you above and beyond what you ever thought possible. She fought to make every bit of potential a reality.

She was a fierce warrior. Her desk by the kitchen was her battle-station. From that place came words of encouragement that crippled the lies of the enemy. Her letters were packed to nearly bursting with scripture. She strengthened everyone she was in contact with in the form of letters, emails, phone calls, and (though later on in life, and with much explaining from the children) text messages.

She did all that while not forgetting to share the same with her own household. The kitchen was a place of refuge, the heart of the home. There you would find encouragement, counsel, kind words, gentle rebukes, and laughter.

She was a persistent friend. Always pushing her friends to be accountable, and to be faithful. If you knew Sono Sato Harris, you simply couldn't help but be affected by her. She wouldn't have it any other way. She'd track you down, to the farthest corners of the earth and make herself a part of your life, in the most loving and gentle way. She was always there with sound counseling. I don't think I ever saw her have a phone conversation shorter than 45 minutes. Her friends looked to her for trusted advice and a godly example. She never let them down.

She was a loyal follower of Christ. She never hesitated to sacrifice herself for the advancement of the gospel. She viewed her best life to be the one where she faithfully served besides her husband to further her Savior's kingdom. She reveled in God's word, her bible always close at hand. Her proudest accomplishment with her children was not their earthly gains or their standing, but to know that they were walking with the Lord. She longed for Heaven, and the relationship she could have with God there. She had one of her favorite books on heaven sticky-noted so thoroughly that you could hardly see the book itself.

The world may look at the life of Sono Sato Harris and see a wasted life. A talented ballerina, a strong, talented leader, a gifted and personal speaker. But I see her accomplishing far more through the path she chose. Through her devotion, encouragement and drive, she has changed the world. They say that behind every great man is a great woman. My mother was behind 6 men and 1 daughter. She was the heart of our home.

The woman I wish to marry is one just like my mom. It is a very high standard. I don't deserve a wife like my mother, but I know I need one, and I know that she will make me stronger and better.

Who knew that my decision back when I was only 4 years old would be the right one?

Proverbs 31:30 "Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."


[indifferent moments]

"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference." -- Elie Wiesel

I found this quote (once again) just recently. It really struck home.

Over the past few months, and really over the past year, I've been dealing with quite a bit. Much of it self-afflicted, much of it my fault, yes, but that doesn't make it any easier.

There are times when life is very stressful. There are times where the emotions seem almost unbearable. And I've discovered it's very easy for me to just shut everything out. Go into auto-pilot. Stop caring.

Sure it seems easier. Maybe in the moment things don't hurt so much. But it doesn't fix anything.

And, in the meantime, I miss out on so much. I miss out on offering a broken heart up to God to fix. I miss out on friends who are willing to support me and encourage me. I miss out on reaching out to others and supporting them where I wished I had gotten support.

Caring is such a beautiful thing. Indifference, such a dangerous thing.

In the midst of the pain, in the midst of the complications, in the midst of the emotional roller-coaster life puts us through, are we willing to face it all, and simply care? You'll lead a very bleak life, otherwise.