4.02.2011

[indifferent moments]


"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference." -- Elie Wiesel

I found this quote (once again) just recently. It really struck home.

Over the past few months, and really over the past year, I've been dealing with quite a bit. Much of it self-afflicted, much of it my fault, yes, but that doesn't make it any easier.

There are times when life is very stressful. There are times where the emotions seem almost unbearable. And I've discovered it's very easy for me to just shut everything out. Go into auto-pilot. Stop caring.

Sure it seems easier. Maybe in the moment things don't hurt so much. But it doesn't fix anything.

And, in the meantime, I miss out on so much. I miss out on offering a broken heart up to God to fix. I miss out on friends who are willing to support me and encourage me. I miss out on reaching out to others and supporting them where I wished I had gotten support.

Caring is such a beautiful thing. Indifference, such a dangerous thing.

In the midst of the pain, in the midst of the complications, in the midst of the emotional roller-coaster life puts us through, are we willing to face it all, and simply care? You'll lead a very bleak life, otherwise.

2 comments:

  1. I know exactly what you mean, Isaac. Let us remember to not miss out on life...it's so beautiful!

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  2. So, I randomly came across your old blog while searching for lyrics to the song Butterfly by Issakar and then saw that you moved to this URL so I followed the link and... it's such a God thing that I read this post.

    Since January I've transfered colleges, went through a tough break up with a guy who left some pretty bad emotional scars leading me to intense healing and rediscovering myself and who I want to be with God. During this time He gave me immense peace (i've always had a stressed out, anxious, perfectionist personality) and paved the way with blessings. I started dancing again, was shown love by strangers who are becoming some of my most trusted friends, changed my major and reevaluated my future, got involved in a small group, and my parents stepped in to support me like I never would have expected. Things were looking up and up and I praised God for all the good amongst the bad.

    Lately though, my heads been clouding out the blessings, the devil's whispering lies that I'm alone, that I'm not good enough, that I'm not important.. he's taking me back to my past hurts and he's taking away my peace and joy. In response, I've shut everything out. The only way to be okay (not happy but not depressed) is to go on auto-pilot, to stop caring. I just had a conversation about an hour ago with a friend where I told him I felt like I was becoming invisible and noone would even notice if I was gone.

    Then I read this. And my world was more than a little shaken by what you said. During the past week of feeling this way, who have I showed love to? who have I helped? how is is benefiting me or changing anything? why have I turned away from my friends? and most importantly, why have I turned away from God?

    Thank you for the reminder that life is in session, and I need to attend it. :)

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